Thursday, April 28, 2005

Mothers

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power.
—Maya Angelou

"There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one"
~ Jill Churchill

Never say anything on the phone that you wouldn't want your mother to hear at your trial.
—Sydney Biddle Barrows

Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother's love is not.
—James Joyce

Youth fades, love droops, the leaves of friendship fall; a mother's secret hope outlives them all.
—Oliver Wendell Holmes (1775-1817)

Grown don't mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown. In my heart it don't mean a thing.
—Toni Morrison

The best academy, a mother's knee.
—James Russell Lowell

My mother loved children—she would have given anything if I had been one.
—Groucho Marx

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
—Oscar Wilde

I really learned it all from mothers.
—Dr. Benjamin Spock

A mother is a mother still,
The holiest thing alive.
—Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.
—William Ross Wallace

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. ~Tenneva Jordan

Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love. ~Mildred B. Vermont


A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. ~Peter De Vries


The phrase "working mother" is redundant. ~Jane Sellman


The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh


If the whole world were put into one scale, and my mother in the other, the whole world would kick the beam. ~Lord Langdale (Henry Bickersteth)


I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life. ~Abraham Lincoln


Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together. ~Pearl S. Buck


A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. ~Author Unknown


Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. ~Ambrose Bierce


Women's Liberation is just a lot of foolishness. It's the men who are discriminated against. They can't bear children. And no one's likely to do anything about that. ~Golda Meir


The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men - from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes


The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. ~Honoré de Balzac


All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. ~Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895


He is a poor son whose sonship does not make him desire to serve all men's mothers. ~Harry Emerson Fosdick


Thou art thy mother's glass, and she in thee
Calls back the lovely April of her prime.
~William Shakespeare


An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. ~Spanish Proverb


She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn't take them along. ~Margaret Culkin Banning


When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty


If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? ~Milton Berle


Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. ~Aristotle


Motherhood is priced
Of God, at price no man may dare
To lessen or misunderstand.
~Helen Hunt Jackson


Women are aristocrats, and it is always the mother who makes us feel that we belong to the better sort. ~John Lancaster Spalding


Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials. ~Meryl Streep


What are Raphael's Madonnas but the shadow of a mother's love, fixed in permanent outline forever? ~Thomas Wentworth Higginson


The formative period for building character for eternity is in the nursery. The mother is queen of that realm and sways a scepter more potent than that of kings or priests. ~Author Unknown


Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. ~Marion C. Garretty


[A] mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled. ~Emily Dickinson


A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. ~Washington Irving


Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease. ~Lisa Alther


A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. ~Victor Hugo


Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother. ~Beverly Jones


The only mothers it is safe to forget on Mother's Day are the good ones. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


A mother's happiness is like a beacon, lighting up the future but reflected also on the past in the guise of fond memories. ~Honoré de Balzac


A father may turn his back on his child, brothers and sisters may become inveterate enemies, husbands may desert their wives, wives their husbands. But a mother's love endures through all. ~Washington Irving


My mother is a poem
I'll never be able to write,
though everything I write
is a poem to my mother.
~Sharon Doubiago



With what price we pay for the glory of motherhood. ~Isadora Duncan


One good mother is worth a hundred schoolmasters. ~George Herbert


Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm


Who ran to help me when I fell,
And would some pretty story tell,
Or kiss the place to make it well?
My mother.
~Ann Taylor


Mother - that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries. ~T. DeWitt Talmage


The precursor of the mirror is the mother's face. ~D.W. Winnicott, Playing and Reality, 1971


Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray


A daughter is a mother's gender partner, her closest ally in the family confederacy, an extension of her self. And mothers are their daughters' role model, their biological and emotional road map, the arbiter of all their relationships. ~Victoria Secunda


Mother's love grows by giving. ~Charles Lamb


I miss thee, my Mother! Thy image is still
The deepest impressed on my heart.
~Eliza Cook


The tie which links mother and child is of such pure and immaculate strength as to be never violated. ~Washington Irving


A little girl, asked where her home was, replied, "where mother is." ~Keith L. Brooks


Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes, by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers and sisters, aunts and cousins, comrades and friends - but only one mother in the whole world. ~Kate Douglas Wiggin


My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. ~Mark Twain


It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it. ~From the television show The Golden Girls


The mother's heart is the child's school-room. ~Henry Ward Beecher


Women know
The way to rear up children (to be just)
They know a simple, merry, tender knack
Of tying sashes, fitting baby shoes,
And stringing pretty words that make no sense,
And kissing full sense into empty words.
~Elizabeth Barrett Browning


The desolation and terror of, for the first time, realizing that the mother can lose you, or you her, and your own abysmal loneliness and helplessness without her. ~Francis Thompson


Every beetle is a gazelle in the eyes of its mother. ~Moorish Proverb


All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother. ~Abraham Lincoln


No painter's brush, nor poet's pen
In justice to her fame
Has ever reached half high enough
To write a mother's name.
~Author Unknown


Women who miscalculate are called mothers. ~Abigail Van Buren


A man's work is from sun to sun, but a mother's work is never done. ~Author Unknown


One of the very few reasons I had any respect for my mother when I was thirteen was because she would reach into the sink with her bare hands - bare hands - and pick up that lethal gunk and drop it into the garbage. To top that, I saw her reach into the wet garbage bag and fish around in there looking for a lost teaspoon. Bare hands - a kind of mad courage. ~Robert Fulghum


One lamp - thy mother's love - amid the stars
Shall lift its pure flame changeless, and before
The throne of God, burn through eternity -
Holy - as it was lit and lent thee here.
~Nathaniel Parker Willis

No one in the world can take the place of your mother. Right or wrong, from her viewpoint you are always right. She may scold you for little things, but never for the big ones. ~Harry Truman

God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb

Life is the fruit she longs to hand you,
Ripe on a plate.
And while you live,
Relentlessly she understands you.
~Phyllis McGinley


All mothers are working mothers. ~Author Unknown

Because I feel that in the heavens above
The angels, whispering one to another,
Can find among their burning tears of love,
None so devotional as that of "Mother,"
Therefore, by that dear name I have long called you,
You who are more than mother unto me.
~Edgar Allan Poe

Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. ~Oprah Winfrey

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb

Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love.
-Mildred B. Vermont

The phrase working mother is redundant.
-Jane Sellman

I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.
-Abraham Lincoln

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.
-Peter De Vries

sweater, n.: garment worn by a child when its mother is feeling chilly.
-Ambrose Bierce

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Adversity

"Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. "
- Joshua J. Marine


"Out of difficulties grow miracles."
- Jean De La Bruyere


If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience. ~Robert Fulghum

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. ~M. Kathleen Casey


If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill


We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, "Why did this happen to me?" unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way. ~Author Unknown


A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn. ~Author Unknown


The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. ~William Shakespeare, Othello


I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa


The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work. ~Harry Golden


We acquire the strength we have overcome. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


You can't run away from trouble. There ain't no place that far. ~Uncle Remus


Enduring habits I hate.... Yes, at the very bottom of my soul I feel grateful to all my misery and bouts of sickness and everything about me that is imperfect, because this sort of thing leaves me with a hundred backdoors through which I can escape from enduring habits. ~Friedrich Nietzsche, The Gay Science, 1882


If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it round. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and had better be on speaking terms with it. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes


The healthy and strong individual is the one who asks for help when he needs it. Whether he's got an abscess on his knee or in his soul. ~Rona Barrett


Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. ~Garth Brooks


Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known. ~Garrison Keillor


Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies. ~Erich Fromm


I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders. ~Jewish Proverb


Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn't people feel as free to delight in whatever remains to them? ~Rose F. Kennedy


You have come into a hard world. I know of only one easy place in it, and that is the grave. ~Henry Ward Beecher


If you want to forget all your other troubles, wear too tight shoes. ~The Houghton Line, November 1965


Turn your wounds into wisdom. ~Oprah Winfrey


Sometimes the littlest things in life are the hardest to take. You can sit on a mountain more comfortably than on a tack. ~Author Unknown


How can something bother you if you won't let it? ~Terri Guillemets


If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere. ~Frank A. Clark


As long as you keep getting born, it's alright to die some times. ~Orson Scott Card


We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. ~Kenji Miyazawa


Bad is never good until worse happens. ~Danish Proverb


It just wouldn't be a picnic without the ants. ~Author Unknown


You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. ~Walt Disney


Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are. ~Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha


When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful. ~Barbara Bloom


There's a bit of magic in everything, and some loss to even things out. ~Lou Reed, "Magic and Loss"


We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking, only to learn that it is God who is shaking them. ~Charles C. West


Things are never so bad they can't be made worse. ~From the movie The African Queen


If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit


The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem. ~Theodore Rubin


Every path has its puddle. ~English Proverb


A bad grade is only one letter in the Essay of life. ~Lee Drake


I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing. ~Agatha Christie


When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


I believe there are more urgent and honorable occupations than the incomparable waste of time we call suffering. ~Colette


Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. ~Johann Paul Friedrich Richter, Flower, Fruit, and Thorn


Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors. ~African Proverb


There is no education like adversity. ~Disraeli


We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't. ~Frank A. Clark


If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change. ~John A. Simone, Sr.


He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. ~Friedrich Nietzsche


When written in Chinese the word "crisis" is composed of two characters - one represents danger and the other represents opportunity. ~John F. Kennedy, address, 12 April 1959


The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back. ~Author Unknown


There are some defeats more triumphant than victories. ~Michel de Montaigne


Adversity introduces a man to himself. ~Author Unknown


It's not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line. ~Ashleigh Brilliant


Even our misfortunes are a part of our belongings. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Night Flight, 1931, translated from French by Stuart Gilbert


That some good can be derived from every event is a better proposition than that everything happens for the best, which it assuredly does not. ~James K. Feibleman


The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears. ~John Vance Cheney


If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.


It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it. ~John Steinbeck


Defeat may serve as well as victory to shake the soul and let the glory out. ~Edwin Markham


Life didn't promise to be wonderful. ~Teddy Pendergrass


Adversity is the first path to truth. ~Lord Byron


Diseases can be our spiritual flat tires - disruptions in our lives that seem to be disasters at the time but end by redirecting our lives in a meaningful way. ~Bernie S. Siegel


We do survive every moment, after all, except the last one. ~John Updike


Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution. If you don't have any problems, you don't get any seeds. ~Norman Vincent Peale


Much of your pain is self-chosen. ~Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet, 1923


Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel. ~Gilbert Keith Chesterton, Orthodoxy, 1909


The difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter. ~Author Unknown


A problem is a chance for you to do your best. ~Duke Ellington


Suffering is above, not below. And everyone thinks that suffering is below. And everyone wants to rise. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin


They say a reasonable amount 'o fleas is good fer a dog - keeps him from broodin' over bein' a dog, mebbe. ~Edward Westcott


Against criticism a man can neither protest nor defend himself; he must act in spite of it, and then it will gradually yield to him. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Maxims and Reflections


Life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating. ~O. Henry


Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.... [A]ccept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.... ~Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet, 1923


The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. ~Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own, 1929


I had a lover's quarrel with the world. ~Robert Frost, The Lesson for Today, 1942


I owe much to my friends; but, all things considered, it strikes me that I owe even more to my enemies. The real person springs life under a sting even better than under a caress. ~André Gide


Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience. ~Author Unknown


Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents which, in prosperous circumstances, would have lain dormant. ~Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus), Satires


The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities. ~Sophocles


Have the courage to face a difficulty lest it kick you harder than you bargained for. ~Stanislaus I, Maxims


Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. ~Rainer Maria Rilke


Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive. ~Josephine Hart


Yes, one must suffer, even in vain, so as not to have lived in vain. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin


Don't cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won't let you see the stars. ~Violeta Parra


There is no ghost so difficult to lay as the ghost of an injury. ~Alexander Smith


Despair is anger with no place to go. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


In a real dark night of the soul, it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


Problems are messages. ~Shakti Gawain


There is in every true woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which kindles up, and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity. ~Washington Irving, The Sketch Book, 1820


For fate has wove the thread of life with pain,
And twins ev'n from the birth are Misery and Man!
~Homer, Odyssey


To have become a deeper man is the privilege of those who have suffered. ~Oscar Wilde


A man is insensible to the relish of prosperity 'til he has tasted adversity. ~Sa'di (Musharrif-uddin)


The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them. ~Bernard M. Baruch


A new wound makes all the old ones ache again. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt. ~Max Lerner, The Unfinished Country, 1950


God uses suffering as a whetstone, to make men sharp with. ~Henry Ward Beecher


Calamity, n. A more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary


Hardship is best sailed with a heart ship. ~Terri Guillemets, Dream Quotes: The Imprisoned Writer Speaks at Night


There are sufferings that have lost their memory and do not remember why they are suffering. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin


Real pain can alone cure us of imaginary ills. We feel a thousand miseries till we are lucky enough to feel misery. ~Samuel Taylor Coleridge


Everybody ought to do at least two things each day that he hates to do, just for practice. ~William James


He that struggles with us strengthens our nerves, and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper. ~Edmund Burke, The Revolution in France, 1790


The course of true anything never does run smooth. ~Samuel Butler


Nothing prevents happiness like the memory of happiness. ~André Gide, L'immoraliste


If the thunder is not loud, the peasant forgets to cross himself. ~Russian Proverb


Past and to come, seems best; things present, worse. ~William Shakespeare, Henry IV


People don't ever seem to relate that doing what's right is no guarantee against misfortune. ~William McFee, Casuals of the Sea, 1916


Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity is a greater. ~William Hazlitt


Better to lose count while naming your blessings than to lose your blessings to counting your troubles. ~Maltbie D. Babcock


I bear a little more than I can bear. ~Elinor Hoyt Wylie, Angels and Earthly Creatures. One Person. Sonnet XVI


Every evil is some good spelt backwards, and in it the wise know how to read Wisdom. ~Coventry Patmore


May you get what you wish for. ~Old Chinese Curse


You'll never find a better sparring partner than adversity. ~Walt Schmidt


Watch a man in times of... adversity to discover what kind of man he is; for then at last words of truth are drawn from the depths of his heart, and the mask is torn off. ~Lucretius, On the Nature of Things


"The horror of that moment," the King went on, "I shall never, never forget!" "You will, though," the Queen said, "if you don't make a memorandum of it. ~Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass, 1872


Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us. ~Rainer Maria Rilke


Sometimes it's worse to win a fight than to lose. ~Billie Holiday


If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment. ~Henry David Thoreau


Human suffering, while it is asleep, is shapeless. If it is wakened it takes the form of the waker. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin


There are times in everyone's life when something constructive is born out of adversity... when things seem so bad that you've got to grab your fate by the shoulders and shake it. ~Author Unknown


Prosperity is not without many fears and distastes, and adversity is not without comforts and hopes. ~Francis Bacon


The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. ~Norman Vincent Peale


It is better to drink of deep griefs than to taste shallow pleasures. ~William Hazlitt, Characteristics, 1823


Better bread with water than cake with trouble. ~Russian Proverb


Problems are only opportunities with thorns on them. ~Hugh Miller, Snow on the Wind


The darkest hour has only sixty minutes. ~Morris Mandel


God gave burdens, also shoulders. ~Yiddish Proverb


But ah! disasters have their use;
And life might e'en be too sun-shiny.
~Charles Stuart Calverley, Disaster, after Moore, stanza 5


There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with. ~Harry Crews


When suffering comes, we yearn for some sign from God, forgetting we have just had one. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


Man performs and engenders so much more than he can or should have to bear. That's how he finds that he can bear anything. ~William Faulkner


We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival. ~Winston Churchill


It is always in the midst, in the epicenter, of your troubles that you find serenity. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wartime Writings 1939-1944, translated from French by Norah Purcell


Tragedy is restful: and the reason is that hope, that foul, deceitful thing, has no part in it. ~Jean Anouilh, Antigone, 1942


My strength is made perfect in weakness. ~II Corinthians


Problems are the price you pay for progress. ~Branch Rickey


When you're feeling your worst, that's when you get to know yourself the best. ~Leslie Grossman


Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind. ~Marcel Proust, The Past Recaptured, Remembrance of Things Past


Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning. ~Bill Gates, Business @ the Speed of Thought


The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them. ~Bernard M. Baruch


Like a plant that starts up in showers and sunshine and does not know which has best helped it to grow, it is difficult to say whether the hard things or the pleasant things did me the most good. ~Lucy Larcom


If all misfortunes were laid in one common heap whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be contented to take their own and depart. ~Socrates


Men grow tired of sleep, love, singing and dancing sooner than of war. ~Homer, Iliad


There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you. ~Woody Hayes


It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less by baldness. ~Cicero


Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor. ~Truman Capote


No man ought to lay a cross upon himself, or to adopt tribulation, as is done in popedom; but if a cross or tribulation come upon him, then let him suffer it patiently, and know that it is good and profitable for him. ~Martin Luther


Flowers never emit so sweet and strong a fragrance as before a storm. When a storm approaches thee, be as fragrant as a sweet-smelling flower. ~Jean Paul Richter


Having is not so pleasing a thing as wanting, it may not be logical but it is often true. ~Mr. Spock, Star Trek


I have woven a parachute out of everything broken. ~William Stafford


I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.
Some come from ahead and some come from behind.
But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see.
Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!
~Dr. Seuss


The misfortunes of mankind are of varied plumage. ~Aeschylus, The Suppliant Maidens


To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness. ~Bertrand Russell


Mishaps are like knives, that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or the handle. ~James Russell Lowell, "Cambridge Thirty Years Ago," Literary Essays


Bygone troubles are good to tell. ~Yiddish Proverb


The cold is a good counselor, but it is cold. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin


Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things. ~Winston Churchill


Rock bottom is good solid ground, and a dead end street is just a place to turn around. ~Buddy Buie and J.R. Cobb, "Rock Bottom" (song)


If the wind will not serve, take to the oars. ~Latin Proverb


We look before and after,
And pine for what is not;
Our sincerest laughter
With some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley, "Ode to a Sky Lark"


In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. ~Oscar Wilde, Lady Windemere's Fan, 1896


Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll. ~Author Unknown


Poverty, Frost, Famine, Rain, Disease, are the beadles and guardsmen that hold us to Common Sense. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. ~Josh Billings


In our nature, however, there is a provision, alike marvelous and merciful, that the sufferer should never know the intensity of what he endures by its present torture, but chiefly by the pang that rankles after it. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter


But ne'er the rose without the thorn. ~Robert Herrick


You never know what you've got until it's gone. ~Author Unknown


That was rough.... Thing to do now is try and forget it.... I guess I don't quite mean that. It's not a thing you can forget. Maybe not even a thing you want to forget.... Life's like that sometimes... Now and then for no good reason a man can figure out, life will just haul off and knock him flat, slam him agin' the ground so hard it seems like all his insides is busted. But it's not all like that. A lot of it's mighty fine, and you can't afford to waste the good part frettin' about the bad. That makes it all bad.... Sure, I know - sayin' it's one thing and feelin' it's another. But I'll tell you a trick that's sometimes a big help. When you start lookin' around for something good to take the place of the bad, as a general rule you can find it. ~From the movie Old Yeller


God brings men into deep waters, not to drown them, but to cleanse them. ~John Aughey


Let me embrace thee, sour adversity, for wise men say it is the wisest course. ~William Shakespeare


There are two things that one must get used to or one will find life unendurable: the damages of time and injustices of men. ~Nicolas Chamfort

Monday, April 25, 2005

Dreams

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. "
- Eleanor Roosevelt


To accomplish great things, we must dream as well as act.
Anatole France (1844 - 1924)

Hope is a waking dream.
Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC),


He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001), "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

The wisest men follow their own direction.
Euripides (484 BC - 406 BC)

Keep true to the dreams of thy youth.
Friedrich von Schiller (1759 - 1805)


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.
Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

Dreams surely are difficult, confusing, and not everything in them is brought to pass for mankind. For fleeting dreams have two gates: one is fashioned of horn and one of ivory. Those which pass through the one of sawn ivory are deceptive, bringing tidings which come to nought, but those which issue from the one of polished horn bring true results when a mortal sees them.
Homer (800 BC - 700 BC), The Odyssey

We need men who can dream of things that never were.
John F. Kennedy (1917 - 1963), speech in Dublin, Ireland, June 28, 1963

Dreams come true. Without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.
John Updike (1932 - )


Now, I say to you today my friends, even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: - 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.'
Martin Luther King Jr. (1929 - 1968), Speech at Civil Rights March on Washington, August 28, 1963

I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint - and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.
Oprah Winfrey (1954 - ), O Magazine, September 2002

The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance - and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning.
Oprah Winfrey (1954 - ), O Magazine, September 2002

The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for.
Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)

It hurts to find out that what you wanted doesn't match what you dreamed it would be.
Randy K. Milholland, Something Positive Comic, 09-07-04


Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
William Dement


The things that one most wants to do are the things that are probably most worth doing.
Winifred Holtby, O Magazine, September 2002

Sunday, April 24, 2005

time

"One thing you can't recycle is wasted time."
-- Anon.

religion

When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion.
Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865), (attributed)

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955), "Science, Philosophy and Religion: a Symposium", 1941

I won't take my religion from any man who never works except with his mouth.
Carl Sandburg (1878 - 1967)

I am determined that my children shall be brought up in their father's religion, if they can find out what it is.
Charles Lamb (1775 - 1834)

It is a fine thing to establish one's own religion in one's heart, not to be dependent on tradition and second-hand ideals. Life will seem to you, later, not a lesser, but a greater thing.
D. H. Lawrence (1885 - 1930)

The opposite of the religious fanatic is not the fanatical atheist but the gentle cynic who cares not whether there is a god or not.
Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)

Everyone ought to worship God according to his own inclinations, and not to be constrained by force.
Flavius Josephus (37 AD - 100 AD)

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)

A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes.
James Feibleman

Everybody likes to go their own way--to choose their own time and manner of devotion.
Jane Austen (1775 - 1817), Mansfield Park

It will, I believe, be everywhere found, that as the clergy are, or are not what they ought to be, so are the rest of the nation.
Jane Austen (1775 - 1817), Mansfield Park

Such evil deeds could religion prompt.
Lucretius (96 BC - 55 BC), De Rerum Natura

The true meaning of religion is thus not simply morality, but morality touched by emotion.
Matthew Arnold (1822 - 1888), 'Literature and Dogma,' preface to 1883 edition, last words

The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)

The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.
Sir Richard Francis Burton (1821 - 1890)

To believe in God or in a guiding force because someone tells you to is the height of stupidity. We are given senses to receive our information within. With our own eyes we see, and with our own skin we feel. With our intelligence, it is intended that we understand. But each person must puzzle it out for himself or herself.
Sophy Burnham

Whatever God's dream about man may be, it seems certain it cannot come true unless man cooperates.
Stella Terrill Mann

With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
Steven Weinberg (1933 - ), quoted in The New York Times, April 20, 1999

Say nothing of my religion. It is known to God and myself alone. Its evidence before the world is to be sought in my life: if it has been honest and dutiful to society the religion which has regulated it cannot be a bad one.
Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)

A cult is a religion with no political power.
Tom Wolfe (1931 - )

old age

SENIOR-ITY

"Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you. "

- Unknown


All I needed now was a computer. And a ten year old kid to teach me how to use it. -Fletch


An older couple is lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night's sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."


"Why not?" he asks.


She answers back, "Because I'm dead."


The husband says, "What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another."


She says, "No, I'm definitely dead."


He insists, "You're not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"


"Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts."
Mary




Remember, once you get over the hill, you'll begin to pick up speed.


Everyone has a photographic memory. Some, like me, just don't have any film.

I always know God won't give me more than I can handle but there are times I wish He didn't trust me quite so much.

Never be too open minded, your brains could fall out.

Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Some days are a total waste of makeup.

Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.


Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Learn from the mistakes of others. Trust me .... you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
I've tried!!

Saturday, April 23, 2005

reality

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
Garrison Keillor (1942 - )

The real distinction is between those who adapt their purposes to reality and those who seek to mold reality in the light of their purposes.
Henry Kissinger (1923 - )

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
Jules de Gaultier

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
Lily Tomlin (1939 - )

Reality is something you rise above.
Liza Minnelli (1946 - )

Everything you can imagine is real.
Pablo Picasso (1881 - 1973)

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

friends

"My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me."
- Henry Ford

Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.
Albert Camus (1913 - 1960), (attributed)

He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare,
And he who has one enemy will meet him everywhere.
Ali ibn-Abi-Talib (602 AD - 661 AD), A Hundred Sayings

Misfortune shows those who are not really friends.
Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC), Eudemian Ethics

Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.
Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC), Nichomachean Ethics

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
Carl Jung (1875 - 1961)

Friendship make prosperity more shining and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it.
Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC), On Friendship, 44 B.C.

The shifts of Fortune test the reliability of friends.
Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC), De Amicitia


Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends.
Czech Proverb

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
Dale Carnegie


Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.
Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)

Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success - yours or his.
Franklin P. Jones, Saturday Evening Post, November 29, 1953

Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.
George Washington (1732 - 1799)

Nobody sees a flower - really - it is so small it takes time - we haven't time - and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time.
Georgia O'Keeffe (1887 - 1986)


Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.
Jane Austen (1775 - 1817), Northanger Abbey

When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.
Japanese Proverb

In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends.
John Churton Collins


Adversity does teach who your real friends are.
Lois McMaster Bujold, A Civil Campaign, 1999

If you make it plain you like people, it's hard for them to resist liking you back.
Lois McMaster Bujold, Diplomatic Immunity, 2002

Never refuse any advance of friendship, for if nine out of ten bring you nothing, one alone may repay you.
Madame de Tencin

It’s the friends you can call up at four a.m. that matter.
Marlene Dietrich (1901 - 1992)

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.
Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)

Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings.
-Miles Franklin

Monday, April 18, 2005

writing

Sometimes writing feels like pulling teeth, except the pain isn’t
localized in the mouth; it’s much more pervasive. It’s like pulling your
soul out of your skin.
--Cathleen Rountree

“In utter loneliness a writer tries to explain the inexplicable.”
--John Steinbeck

health

"Committing to a lifetime of wellness is not a luxury--it's a necessity. You'll never have enough time; you have to make the time." --Oprah Winfrey

Friday, April 15, 2005

happiness

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

The secret of happiness is to make others believe they are the cause of it.
Al Batt, in National Enquirer

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.
Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809 - 1892)

A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance.
Anatole France (1844 - 1924)


Happiness depends upon ourselves.
Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC)

Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values.
Ayn Rand (1905 - 1982)


If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years.
Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)


The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it.
C. P. Snow (1905 - 1980)

Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age.
Christopher Morley (1890 - 1957)

Sometimes it's hard to avoid the happiness of others.
David Assael, Northern Exposure, Our Tribe, 1992

All sanity depends on this: that it should be a delight to feel heat strike the skin, a delight to stand upright, knowing the bones are moving easily under the flesh.
Doris Lessing

Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast - you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.
Eddie Cantor (1892 - 1964)

A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth.
George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950), "Man and Superman" (1903), act I


Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns (1896 - 1996)


To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.
Gustave Flaubert (1821 - 1880)

Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
Helen Keller (1880 - 1968)

Man is the artificer of his own happiness.
Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862), Journal, January 21, 1838

If we cannot live so as to be happy, let us least live so as to deserve it.
Immanuel Hermann Fichte

I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
J. D. Salinger (1919 - )

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.
James Oppenheim

At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.
Jean Houston


Happiness: a good bank account, a good cook and a good digestion.
Jean Jacques Rousseau (1712 - 1778)

The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp.
John Berry, Flight of White Crows

True happiness is of a retired nature, and an enemy to pomp and noise; it arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one's self, and in the next from the friendship and conversation of a few select companions.
Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719), The Spectator, March 17, 1911

Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.
Josh Billings (1818 - 1885)

Friday, April 08, 2005

Napoleon Dynamite Movie Quotes

Memorable Quotes from
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
[first lines]
Kid on Bus: What are you gonna do today, Napoleon?
Napoleon Dynamite: Whatever I feel doing, gosh!

[last lines before post-credit sequence]
Napoleon Dynamite: You wanna play me?

[last lines]
Napoleon Dynamite: Lucky.


Napoleon Dynamite: Grandma just called and said you're supposed to go home.
Uncle Rico: She didn't tell me anything.
Napoleon Dynamite: Too bad, she said she doesn't want you here when she gets back because you've been ruining everybody's lives and eating all our steak.
Uncle Rico: I'm not goin' anywhere, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: Get off my property!
Uncle Rico: It's a free country. I can do whatever I want.
Napoleon Dynamite: Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you.
Uncle Rico: Well then do it! Go on!
Napoleon Dynamite: Maybe I will, GOSH!

Napoleon Dynamite: Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip.
Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
Napoleon Dynamite: Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
Kip: Try and hit me, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: What?
Kip: I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.



Don: Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?
Napoleon Dynamite: I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!
Don: Did you shoot any?
Napoleon Dynamite: Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation like that?
Don: What kind of gun did you use?
Napoleon Dynamite: A freakin' 12-gauge, what do you think?

Deb: And here we have some boondoggle key chains. A must-have for this season's fashion.
Napoleon Dynamite: I already made like infinity of those at scout camp.

Napoleon Dynamite: You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bo staff.


Napoleon Dynamite: [referring to Deb's milk] I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.


Pedro: Do you think people will vote for me?
Napoleon Dynamite: Heck yes! I'd vote for you.
Pedro: Like what are my skills?
Napoleon Dynamite: Well, you have a sweet bike. And you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're like the only guy at school who has a mustache.

Napoleon Dynamite: How long did it take you to grow that moustache?
Pedro: A couple of days.


Uncle Rico: What about your girlfriend?
Kip: Well, things are getting pretty serious right now. I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day so I guess you could say things are gettin' pretty serious.

Napoleon Dynamite: You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.

Grandma: How was school?
Napoleon Dynamite: The worst day of my life, what do you think?

Napoleon Dynamite: What kind of bike do you have?
Pedro: It's a sledgehammer.
Napoleon Dynamite: Dang! You got shocks, pegs... lucky! You ever take it off any sweet jumps?
Napoleon Dynamite: [Cut to Pedro jumping] You got like three feet of air that time.

Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.
Deb: What's a liger?
Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.

Napoleon Dynamite: Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!... Tina, eat. Food. Eat the FOOD!

Napoleon Dynamite: Tina, come get some ham.

Napoleon Dynamite: Pedro offers you his protection.

Napoleon Dynamite: I caught you a delicious bass.

Pedro: If I win, you can be my secretary or something.
Napoleon Dynamite: Sweet!


Pedro: Vote for me, and all your wildest dreams will come true.

Kip: LaFawnduh is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.Don't worry Napoleon, there's a babe out there for you somewhere. Peace out.

Deb: This is looking really good.
Kip: You can say that again.
[Uncle Rico acknowledges]
Deb: Kay, hold still right there. Now, just imagine you're weightless, in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by tiny little seahorses.
[Uncle Rico pictures it and give a gleaming look at the camera]
Deb: [takes the picture] That was one that I think is gonna come out really nice.
Uncle Rico: Ah, how you did it... wow... well I felt really relaxed. Thanks Deb.
[Uncle Rico puts his fist down, then swats a fly]
Uncle Rico: You're up Kip.
Kip: Is there some kind of vest that I can wear?
[makes gesture of putting on a vest]

Napoleon Dynamite, Deb: [Napoleon and Deb are dancing]
Napoleon Dynamite: I like your sleeves. They're real big.
Deb: Thank you. I made them myself.
Napoleon Dynamite: So you and Pedro getting really serious now?

Randy: Napoleon, give me some of your tots.
Napoleon Dynamite: No, go find your own.
Randy: Come on, give me some of your tots.
Napoleon Dynamite: No, I'm freakin' starving! I didn't get to eat anything today.
Randy: [kicks the tots]
Napoleon Dynamite: Ugh! Gross! Freakin' idiot!

Kip: I'm just really trying to raise a few bucks now so I can bring her out for a few days.
Uncle Rico: Yeah, well what does she look like?
Kip: She's uh... she's got sandy blonde hair. She's uh... pretty good looking face, but I'm just getting really... just kinda TO'd because... I mean she hasn't even sent me a full body shot yet.

Napoleon Dynamite: Hey can I use your guys's phone for a sec?
Secretary No. 1: Is there anything wrong?
Napoleon Dynamite: I don't feel very good.
[takes telephone and dials number]
Kip: [making nachos on the other line] Hi.
Napoleon Dynamite: Is grandma there?
Kip: No, she's getting her hair done.
Napoleon Dynamite: Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Kip: What do you need?
Napoleon Dynamite: Can you just go get her for me?
Kip: I'm really busy right now.
Napoleon Dynamite: Just tell her to come get me.
Kip: Why?
Napoleon Dynamite: Cause I don't feel good!
Kip: Well, have you talked to the school nurse?
Napoleon Dynamite: No, she doesn't know anything. Will you just come get me?
Kip: No.
Napoleon Dynamite: Well, will you do me a favor then? Can you bring me my chapstick?
Kip: No, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: But my lips hurt real bad!
Kip: Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has like five sticks in her drawer.
Napoleon Dynamite: I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko!
Kip: See ya.
Napoleon Dynamite: Ugh! Idiot!

Napoleon Dynamite: Well, what is there to eat?
Grandma: Get off it, Napoleon! Just make yourself a dang quesa-dilluh!

Deb: It's Deb. And I'm calling to let you know that I think you're a shallow friend.
Napoleon Dynamite: What the heck are you even talking about?
Napoleon Dynamite: Deb just called me. She pretty much hates me by now.
Pedro: Why?
Napoleon Dynamite: Because my uncle Rico's an IDIOT.
Pedro: Do you have anything to give to her?
Napoleon Dynamite: No. Not unless she likes fish.

Pedro: Who was that?
Napoleon Dynamite: Trisha.
Pedro: Who's she?
Napoleon Dynamite: My woman I'm taking to the dance.
Pedro: Did you draw her a picture?
Napoleon Dynamite: Heck yes I did.
Napoleon Dynamite: My old girlfriend from Oklahoma was gonna fly out for the dance but she couldn't cause she's doing some modeling right now.
Pedro: Is she hot?
Napoleon Dynamite: See for yourself.
[hands him Deb's glamor shot sample]
Pedro: Wow.
Napoleon Dynamite: Yeah, I took her to the mall to get some glamor shots for her birthday one year.
Pedro: I like her bangs.
Napoleon Dynamite: Me too.


[Kip is singing to Lafawnduh after they are pronounced husband and wife]
Kip: Why do you love me? Why do you need me? Always and forever... We met in a chatroom, now our love can fully bloom... Sure the world wide web is great, but you, you make my salivate... I love technology, but not as much as you, you see... But I STILL love technology... Always and forever. Our love is like a flock of doves, flying up to heaven above... always and forever, always and forever... Why do you need me? Why do you love me? Always and forever...

Napoleon Dynamite: What are you doing here, Uncle Rico?
Uncle Rico: Grandma took a little spill at the sand dunes today. Broke her coccyx.

Uncle Rico: Kip, I reckon... you know a lot about... cyberspace? You ever come across anything... like time travel?
Kip: Easy, I've already looked into it for myself.
Uncle Rico: Right on... right on.


Kip: So when's grandma coming back?
Uncle Rico: I don't know. Not sure.
Napoleon Dynamite: You don't have to stay here with us, we're not babies.
Uncle Rico: Ha ha! Talk to your Auntie Carolyn.
Napoleon Dynamite: Kip is like 32 years old.
Kip: I don't mind if you stay.

Teacher: Your current event, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.

Kip: [typing a poem on his computer] Your sandy hair floats in the air... To me it's like a lullaby... I'm just flying by... Oh so high... like a kite... tied to a skate...
[begins singing]

Uncle Rico: Napoleon, you know we can't afford the fun pack. What, do you think money grows on trees in this family? Take it back! And get some Pampers for you and your brother while you're at it.

[Napoleon rides up to Kip and LaFawnduh's wedding on a horse]
Napoleon Dynamite: Sorry I'm late. I just got done taming a wild honeymoon stallion for you guys.

Napoleon Dynamite: [to Pedro] Just follow your heart. That's what I do.

Napoleon Dynamite: [while hitch-hiking] Are you guys like Pedro's cousins with all the sweet hook-ups?

Napoleon Dynamite: Who are you?
LaFawnduh: I'm Le Fawnduh.
Napoleon Dynamite: What are you doing here?
LaFawnduh: I'm waiting for Kip.
Napoleon Dynamite: Kip?
LaFawnduh: Why are you so sweaty?
Napoleon Dynamite: I've been practicing.
LaFawnduh: Mmmm. Practicing what?
Napoleon Dynamite: Some dance moves.
LaFawnduh: You like dancing?
D-Qwon: Welcome to D-Qwon's dance grooves, are you ready to get your groove on?
Napoleon Dynamite: Yes.
D-Qwon: All right then, let's get started!

Uncle Rico: We also need someway to make us look official, like we got all the answers.
Kip: How bout some gold bracelets?
Uncle Rico: We need like some name tags with our picture on it, all laminated and what not. I mean, we gotta look legit man.
Kip: That's true, that's true.

Quotes for the keeping

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away. "
- Unknown

I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it.
Pablo Picasso

"Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise."
- Sigmund Freud


It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

"To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring."
- George Santayana

"In doing anything, the first step is the most difficult." --Chinese proverb

"If you're able to be yourself, then you have no competition. All you have to do is get closer and closer to that essence."
- Barbara Cook

Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.
Epictetus (55 AD - 135 AD)

Be not slow to visit the sick.
Ecclesiastes

Getting there isn't half the fun - it's all the fun.
Robert Townsend

A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses.
Hippocrates (460 BC - 377 BC),

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860)

"Hope is a waking dream."
- Aristotle

"The most damaging phrase in the language is, 'It's always been done that way.'" - Admiral Grace Hopper

"Everyone who has ever taken a shower has had an idea. It's the person who gets out of the shower, dries off, and does something about it that makes a difference." - Nolan Bushnell

Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?
Frank Scully

"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book."
Ronald Reagan

"Dreams are necessary to life."

- Anais Nin



"A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your successes."
- Doug Larson

"The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a flame to be kindled." --Plutarch


"Often the test of courage is not to die but to live."

- Conte Vittorio Alfieri

"Parents need to fill a child's bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can't poke enough holes in it to drain it dry." Alvin Price

'Life isn't a matter of milestones, but of moments.'
Rose Kennedy


"How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world." William Shakespeare



"Often the test of courage is not to die but to live."

- Conte Vittorio Alfieri

"I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble." Helen Keller


Children are our most valuable natural resource.
-Herbert Hoover


Happiness is a state of activity.
-Aristotle

In order to love simply, it is necessary to know how to show love.
Fyodor Dostoyevsky


Summer afternoon - summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.
-Henry James

It amazes me that most people spend more time planning next summer’s vacation than they do planning the rest of their lives.
-Patricia Fripp

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
Thomas A. Edison


Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.
-Russell Baker


Summer bachelors, like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be.
-Nora Ephron

Summer’s lease hath all too short a date.
-William Shakespeare

It’s a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do.
- Walter Winchell


A merry heart doeth good like a medicine
-Proverbs 17:22

Words of Wisdom

1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."
-Author Unknown

2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children"
-Author Unknown

3) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
-Drew Carey

4)"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
-Rod Stewart

5) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
-Jeff Foxworthy

7) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."
-Dave Barry

9) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."
-Bob Ettinger

10) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim."
-Paula Poundstone

11) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study:"Duh."
-Conan O'Brien

12) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I could be eating a slow learner."
-Lynda Montgomery

13) "I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'"
-Richard Jeni

14) "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
-Johnny Carson

15) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
-Paul Rodriguez

16) "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and that's the law."
-Jerry Seinfeld
17) "Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?"
-Warren Hutcherson

18) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same."
-Oscar Wilde

19) "Suppose you were an idiot . . . . And suppose you were a member of Congress... but I repeat myself."
-Mark Twain

20) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find afghanistan."
-A. Whitney Brown

22) "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
-Roseanne

24) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'
-Dave Barry

25) Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because " Mad Cow Disease" was taken!
-Unknown

Quotes worth keeping

"Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble."

- Frank Tyger

"She will fill our lives with sunshine.... And our hearts with love. "
- Unknown

"The purpose of life is a life of purpose. "
- Rober Byrne

"The roads we take are more important than the goals we announce. Decisions determine destiny."
- Frederick Speakman

"One rose says more than the dozen."
- Wendy Craig

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
Thomas Szasz,

"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."
- Mark Twain

Writers should be read, but neither seen nor heard.
Daphne du Maurier (1907 - 1989)


"Good friends are good for your health." --Irwin Sarason, PhD

"Everybody needs memories."

- Saul Bellow

"Hear the meaning within the word."
- William Shakespeare

"Kind words don't cost much, yet they accomplish much."
- Blaise Pascal

If you don't run your own life, somebody else will.
John Atkinson

"Words are loaded pistols"
--Jean-Paul Sartre

You must not lose faith in humanity.
Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean
are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.
Mohandas Gandhi

Do what you can where you are with what you’ve got.
-Theodore Roosevelt

''St. Patrick's Day is an enchanted time--a day to begin
transforming winter's dreams into summer's magic.''
--Adrienne Cook


“An author departs; he does not die.”
--Dinah Maria Mulock

"A library, to modify the famous metaphor of Socrates, should be the
delivery room of the birth of ideas—a place where history comes to life."
--Norman Cousins

“In books, it is the chief of all perfections to be plain and brief.”
--Samuel Butler
"Happiness is the whole aim and end of human existence."
~Aristotle

"Forgiveness is the fragrance a violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it".
~Mark Twain
"A new baby is like the beginning of all things ~ wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." ~ Eda LeShan

"Life doesn't come with an instruction book. That's why we have fathers."
~ H. Jackson Browne, Jr.

"Heroes are created by popular demand, sometimes out of the scantiest materials, or none at all." ~ Gerald Johnson

"If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live." ~ Lin Yutang

"What is money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night and in between he does what he wants to." ~ Bob Dylan

"Every strike brings me closer to the next home run." ~ Babe Ruth

) "Destiny is not in the stars but in ourselves."
-William Shakespeare


The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one’s own country as a foreign land.
--Gilbert Keith Chesterton

I have wandered all my life, and I have traveled; the difference between the two is this: we wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment.
- Hilaire Belloc

I travelled among unknown men, In lands beyond the sea: Nor, England! did I know till then What love I bore for thee.
-William Wordsworth

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
-Mark Twain.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter.
-Izaak Walton

When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.
-Susan Heller

The man who goes alone can start today, but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
--Henry David Thoreau

The rewards of the journey far outweigh the risk of leaving the harbor.
--Unknown

I love to travel, But hate to arrive
--Albert Einstein

He travels fastest who travels alone.
Proverb